ANOTHER ETHAICD.COM ORDER

These guys are my favorite. They are super affordable. Most VCDs are $5.50 and most DVDs are $12.. They offer free shipping, and they send their packages in these cute little boxes.

These are the ones I picked up this time. This is my third time ordering from ethaicd and I am always a happy customer.

The items came protected in bubblewrap and in excellent condition. From far left and then clockwise we have:

-Ghost of Valentine
-The Mermaid of Paradise
-Teng Fud Porp
-Porb Phee Hien
-Baan Phee Porp 1

The artwork on all of these is vibrant and beautiful. The DVD of Ghost of Valentine claims to include English subtitles on the back, but I think that is a miss-print because there is no option on the menu nor while I'm playing the disc. The artwork for Porb Phee Hien is different on the ethaicd site, but honestly the one I got is way cooler. I already have another order on the way of about 10 VCDs and DVDs so stay tuned. I will also have another review soon.

-Eddie

GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, AND PLACENTA

A Review of 

Nieng Arp, 2004

The opening title credit for អាប aka Nieng Arp aka Lady Vampire

Everyone that knows me knows that I have a love for weird movies. If you know me really well, you also know that I have a favorite sub-genre of weird and wild cinema from outside the United States—that sub-genre is anything that has to do with, or features, a Krasue. Known in Thailand as krasue, in Cambodia as Ahp, and also called penanggalan or manangaal in other places, this creature "manifests itself as a woman, usually young and beautiful, with her internal organs hanging down from the neck, trailing below the head." (Wikipedia: Krasue) I don't know why, but I have always found this vampiric folk legend not only incredibly interesting, but also aesthetically fascinating. It just looks so damn cool! Horror fans are familiar with H. Tjut Djalil's Mystics in Bali (1981) thanks to Mondo Macabro. Mystics in Bali features the same creature and is a lot easier to come across than any of the other krasue or leyak films. 

Nieng Arp is a 2004 Shot on Video movie that begins with a pregnant woman having contractions. Later that night she goes through tedious labor and is assisted by a few woman with the typical yelling of "push" and sweat. 

As we watch this scene another scene keeps being shown of an elderly woman that appears to be possessed lying on her hut floor. She twitches and moans and is lit in a soft blue. Exactly when the baby is born and you start to hear it cry, we start hearing wolf howls and then we see the krasue (I'll just call it a krasue even though the Cambodian equivalent is Arp) leaving an open window! There it is! It's beautiful! 

Do you remember those keychains they sell around Halloween time that have a button that you push and it makes this really cool beeping sound? Well you actually hear that sound as the krasue flies away! The krasue also glows green off and on, giving it even more of a mystical feel. If you're bothered by bad subtitles you will definitely be bothered by the subtitle work on this one. There are countless mistakes. I personally enjoy these films with or without subtitles and actually get a good laugh from mistakes like the following: 

Are you tire, honey??     What's a matter?? What is a matter?

 This couple keeps being followed by a shady group of guys. Even I want to know 'what is a matter' with these people. A fight ensues when the couple is surrounded by the gang of no-goods. I'm thinking the editors of the film didn't have access to any recording equipment because they use an audio clip of a punch sound that is attached to a score of some kind and this clip is repeated for every blow. Anyway, the gang splits and the woman helps her boyfriend up and they walk away. 
So back to the pregnant lady, or rather the lady that just had a baby. So legend has it that a krasue will haunt a pregnant woman who is either about to have or just had a baby. The krasue feasts on human flesh and blood. It is depicted as having a long tongue so as to reach the baby or placenta in the womb. 

There's nothing like a nice bowl of placenta.

The husband of the woman who just had her baby visits the house and asks his aunt, who helped during the labor, if his baby "is cute." She responds by saying "so cute" and hands him the bowl of placenta with specific instructions to "bury it underground, make sure the dog or cat don't get to it!"  She instructs him further saying, "cover with the thorns to prevent the bodiless vampire!" There's something beautiful about those subtitles. Just as the husband is digging, the krasue shows up.

 
Some villagers actually show up and manage to stab the "bodiless vampire" with an arrow, which goes right through her, but doesn't stop her. She yelps out a haunting moan before flying away. They keep chasing after her. We again go back to the loving couple and witness them being stopped again by the gang of men that has been following them. The lady is grabbed and told she is pretty to which she immediately responds, "you bustard!" Not bastard. Bustard. I'm not kidding. If this couple is tired of getting into trouble maybe they should stop taking long and dark back roads. Just a thought. 
We are again treated to the punching audio clip that is repeated through this whole movie if and when a punch is delivered. They also break the guys leg, punch him one more time, and then stab him. The stabbing sound effect sounds like something from a video game. The woman is then gang raped.

After the two are left for dead the camera pans up to a nearby tree where we see the krasue hanging out; her guts glow like a beau She drools into the mouth of the raped woman and brings her back from the dead (you read that right). And voila! We now have our vampire lady!

16 YEARS LATER

We are introduced to a group of students on a study trip. One of them is the nephew of the enemy of the Krasue—the very man that left our now lady vampire for dead! The students get to a house that they want to rent during their local stay and are introduced to the owner who is the woman who was raped, killed, and brought back to life 16 years earlier. She is now a krasue! There is a scene where she taunts a couple of drunks and then feasts on their flesh after they fall off a bridge. The scene is dismissed as a nightmare.

The lady vampire's daughter doesn't want her mother to do bad things anymore, but the krasue is determined to get revenge. She doesn't only want to kill the nephew, but everyone!

Very SUZZANNAesque.

She keeps a casket in her cave basement where "the mother" sleeps. The mother is the krasue from the beginning of the film and the one that gave her vampiric life. 
One of the traveling students asks the krasue's daughter for her hand in marriage. She asks her vampire mom who tells her that no man can be trusted. The vampire woman meditates and tries hard not to kill anymore. She was visited by a monk that seems to know about her curse. She hears his voice in her head during meditation, "the spirit of the vampire will not control you!" 

Meanwhile two of the original gang members talk about forgiveness of sins. One is obviously more remorseful than the other. The vampire woman takes to sickness and tells her child (Paulika) that she doesn't want the "bodiless vampire tradition" to pass on to her. In the next scene Paulika starts demonstrating "bodiless vampire" qualities; namely lying on the ground, twitching, and moaning—she holds her neck tightly due to the pain of the head and organs starting to separate themselves from the rest of the body. We are not treated to blood and guts, but merely shots of her head moving up and then suddenly being lit in green light and having the actress where vampire fangs. This scene is also dismissed as a nightmare.

 Although we are not sure if the daughter is a bloodsucker or not, we are treated to great scares and effects. Two of my favorite are having the ghost appear on a Nokia cellphone and a Sony computer. 

The gang member that is being tormented by the Krasue and Holy Mother decides to get divine help. He hires a holy man to help him. They build a small "holy place" and sit in it. The Krasue and Holy Mother comes and attack. They kill the holy man and the man gets away. He goes, with his wife, to a monk who tells him that he needs to have a "holy shower" and needs to provide a food offering to the vampire spirit. But nothing can keep him safe! He is attacked by his wife who becomes possessed and he ends up killing her. She dies on the road with their nephew present. 

The Krasue shows up laughing at the horrific scene. The holy mother tells the man it is his day of doom and possesses him. The man walks slowly to his nephew who is confused at what is going on, but decides to defend himself nonetheless; they fight and the possessed man is stabbed and killed. The Krasue shows up (we get to see the back of her with lungs and other organs dangling) and the man stabs the vampire woman in the head and flings her to the ground. Some of the girls show up including the Paulika who yells, "Please, don't kill my mother!" This whole scene is awesome. I really wish there was more gore and better sound effects, but whatever. Beggars can't be choosers. 

So this movie is great. Like I said, I would have loved more gore and more head-leaving-the-body action, but whatever. The instances where we see the krasue is well worth the price of admission. My copy—and these screen grabs—are from the DVD-R available on Trash Palace through their website. It's a good copy, but I am always on the lookout for original DVDs. 

-Eddie

www.trashpalace.com

YELLOW DREAM, PINK NIGHTMARE

A Review of

Dr. Caligari, 1989

You might remember walking into the candy store when you were little. Out of child-like curiosity, you would walk further into this mysterious place without being able to get your eyes off of the walls of vibrant and endless possibilities for a sugar rush. With the background noise of jellybeans and chocolate covered raisins being scooped up from giant containers you would salivate at the thought of taking home all your favorite candy. The struggle was real.
Watching 1989's Dr. Caligari is a similar occurrence. The avant-garde, mind-melting experience can be compared to David Lynch's Eraserhead or a Salvador Dalí painting come to life. Of course, everyone shares the images below—and rightly so—where a wall of flesh comes to life to get a taste of Laura Albert who plays a nymphomaniac housewife named Mrs. Van Houten (fun fact: Laura Albert became a stuntwoman; she is still working, but has in recent years gone through some financial trouble).
All too familiar is the exploitation of the "art film." When is something art? When is something mere garbage? I like to think that there is no answer. If an image captivates you and doesn't captivate someone else it doesn't mean that you are wrong. It simply means that your world-view is different than theirs. I have always loved art-house films. I can remember watching The Baby of Mâcon (1993) directed by the incredible Peter Greenaway and thinking I had seen the greatest story ever told. So yeah, we're all different. I only say that because I haven't found many people who like that movie. Everyone that knows Greenaway's work always talks about The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover (1989) which is a great film—don't get me wrong—but, in my opinion, not as aesthetically pleasing as The Baby of Mâcon. Anyway, back to the insane asylum. Dr. Caligari follows the exploits and experiments of the granddaughter of the great Dr. Caligari from 1920's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and is the kind of film that you will either love or hate. I love this film. I do, however, have a distinct memory of sharing this film with people while I was in high school and finding no one that shared the same feeling.

It's a great time to be alive. As long as movies like this exist, I'll be happy.

Dr. Caligari is played by Madeleine Reynal who holds only one other credit on IMDB. She is beautiful in this movie and spends most of her time transferring glandular brain fluids from one patient to another. The feel of the film seems to mirror the chaos going on within the minds of the

"That smell of burnt flesh - always reminds me of something." -Dr. Caligari

patients and most of all, Dr. Caligari herself. There is a balanced mix of vibrant colors and emotional dread. Everyone in the film wears either yellow or pink. I hate both colors, but in this movie, they look so cool. I think it was a brave choice and one that works. The idea behind Dr. Caligari's unusual and cruel experiments is that she hopes to balance out the crazy among all of the patients. Not the worst idea, but for these guys obviously not the best. We are soon introduced to a couple who become concerned with Dr. Caligari's techniques and talk with their father, who is a doctor, about confronting the depraved Dr. Caligari. Unfortunately, he falls victim and is injected with brain fluid from the nymphomaniac housewife turning him into a sex-fiend-transvestite. 

 

And they were all yellow.

Those fingernails though. 

 "I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is."

-Clark (The Thing, 1982) 

A candy filled orifice—one of the many spectacular images of this movie.

So I'm not sure you'll ever read a bad review from me. Maybe you shouldn't take this too seriously. Overall, this is a highly entertaining movie. It is not true that you can't get this on DVD. The producer of this film Joseph F. Robertson later founded Excalibur Films (The adult video site). You can actually buy this on their website and it comes in a great transfer. These are all screenshots from my personal copy from Excalibur so you be the judge. This wacky art film is celluloid madness that should be watched by everyone.