BRIGHT COLORS AND SKELETONS

A review of 

Ku-marn Thong (กุมารทอง), Year unknown to me

 Such great artwork. The "black" man dancing with a skeleton is what sold me.

So this film was a great watch. I had as much fun finding this as I did watching it. The movie revolves around a household divinity of Thai belief known as "Kuman Thong." I'm not sure why ethaicd.com calls certain movies something a little bit different (if anyone can let me know that would be great). Anyway... I bought this movie off of Amazon after searching "Thai VCD." There is a seller by the name of MonligaSarakitCahall that has a whole bunch of Thai movies up on Amazon with no title or info  - only artwork. And the artwork was enough for me. The artwork is too often enough for me. The front and back of this VCD artwork features bright colors and skeletons. 

 The transfer is not terrible.

 

 The story seems to revolve around a couple. In the beginning they meet a monk on the street who introduces them to the Kuman Thong. Again, this is a deity in the form of a boy adorned in gold and jewelry and features a coned head. Wikipedia claims, "the authentic Kuman Thong originated in a practice of necromancy. They were obtained from the desicaccated fetuses of children who had died whilst still in their mothers' womb." Pretty sick right? Sick as in disgusting. Or cool. Whatever.

Where can I buy one of these?

When the couple is introduced to this "deity" they pay devotions and it actually speaks!  They seem to be struggling with their faith. They try different ways of praying and are surprised when the "golden boy" shows up. The husband seems more scared than surprised. He reluctantly touches the boy to see if he's real. 

 What the

They now have an altar for the Kuman Thong and ask it questions whenever they desire. The "deity" is always willing to help. His appearance is pretty cool - very deity-like.

I am Kuman Thong! (Can you imagine living with name?!)

This is when we start seeing some of the trippy images that I love in these kinds of movies. Talking skeletons—which backup the necromantic history of this folklore—and crazy cool kaleidoscope effects. 

(Reminiscent of The Invaders, 1967) 

We are also treated to a scene in which the boy seems to command the dead to torture the worshippers of another God. He does this by sending the flying head of the skeleton to terrorize the people at their shrine! 

 

Bold move little man.

 

The talking skull seems to convince the people that Kuman Thong is the superior God. If I'm wrong about this please correct me. Let me remind you that this VCD did not include English subtitles. I don't care. I still got to see a skull shoot lasers out of its eyes!

Who needs Cyclops from X-Men, we you got Kuman Thong's skeleton minion.

On to Disc 2... There seems to be a lot of havoc going on in the town. The "boy" makes his appearance a few times. There is a festival where there are these large dog looking things (yeah - that's the best I can do). Some bad guys show up to the town and Kuman Thong commands (via laser) that the skull rejoin its skeleton body.

A local wizard (warlock? voodoo priest?) summons a zombie to wreak chaos against the authority of the Kuman Thong. 

 

 

The zombie walks slowly over to the skeleton and now finally the cover of this VCD makes sense. What looks like a dance on the cover and on the back of this movie is actually an epic battle between the one-eyed zombie and the skeleton friend of Kuman Thong. 

This guy's got guts. Or wait, no, he doesn't.

Compare this to the cover. See what I mean?

The ending is very abrupt and I've got to tell ya, up until this point the movie made sense. So there is a moment where the "boy" gives a gift (looks like a piggy bank—maybe symbolic of wealth or luck) to the new convert. The fight continues with the zombie and the skeleton, and after being kicked in the crotch the zombie rips the head off of Mr. Bones, walks over to the new convert, and switches the skull for the pig. I know. Weird, right? Wrong! I'm sure it makes sense. 

 

Then the zombie goes back to sleep, Kuman Thong zaps somebody in the face and the end title card appears.

Goodnight.

 Take that unbeliever!

So overall, this was fairly entertaining. Don't forget these movies aren't for everyone and my standard for what a good movie is is extremely different than everyone else. But if you like weird stuff check this movie out - if you can find it! I got lucky with this one. Also you should research "Kuman Thong." It's got such an odd history and still holds an occult following. "On May 18, of 2012 a 28-year-old British citizen of Taiwanese origin, Chow Hok Kuen, was arrested in a Bangkok hotel room with six male fetuses that had been roasted and covered in gold. Police reported that Kuen intended to sell the fetuses in Taiwan for about $6,3000 each." (Wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuman_Thong)

-Eddie